Sometimes, words pop into my head and stick around long enough to be written down… I’m far from a poet, and sharing these feels a bit like baring a part of my soul, but maybe, one might find you when you need it, or bring you a much-needed smile; I hope so, anyway.
Life WITH LIMITS
Oh little sparrow,
Do you dream of other skies?
The sight of swallows leaving,
Sparking a desire to take flight.
Moulting trees and bitter evenings,
Reminders of when nests were more than prisons;
And as each Spring returns your sisters,
Tell me, is the yearning for their freedoms,
Ever diminished in its might?
Yes, said the sparrow,
His gaze wistfully following the breeze,
Sometimes the weight of the life not lived is suffocating,
There’s no way out but to grieve.
But the more I rest in the present,
Observing what’s around and within,
I begin to believe,
There’s a lot of life to be lived, among these well-known trees.
This is a story of finding peace and letting go of comparison. The first part was written at a time when all I craved was to be outside, participating in the world I could only see through a window. The second was written once those emotions were a little less raw and painful, once perspective had had a chance to work its magic. I am both those voices; they come and go and always will.
What is Courage?
Courage is not the absence of fear,
Courage is feeling, acknowledging and accepting the fear, and then deciding you’re going to try anyway.
Courage is admitting, even if only to yourself, that the fear exists,
It’s analysing that fear, allowing yourself to fully feel and experience it, in order to find out where it stems from.
Courage is admitting you cannot ignore it, you can’t hide it away in a dusty box in the attic,
It’s accepting that fear as a part of you, right now, whilst believing it won’t always be.
Courage is seeing the fear as helping you, as feeding the fire inside of you, and knowing you can work alongside it.
Courage is taking everything moment by moment, having enough trust in yourself to do what’s right for you.
Courage is saying, “I have fear, but fear doesn’t have me”.
We think of courage as the catalyst for achieving the impossible, but courage is in the act of carrying out the everyday things which are molehills for some but mountains for others. Courage can be shown in simply continuing to breathe, and can never exist without fear.
We tell ourselves it’s ok,
To live on trial each day,
Facing a jury for each moment,
Hoping it was something worth it.
We tell ourselves it’s alright,
To accept there is no fight.
Not a winner, nor a loser,
Just a body, which bends and yields and bruises.
But it shouldn’t be this way.
And it’s ok for the smile drain away,
For the weight of the day to leave you breathless,
And to just allow each moment, each emotion,
To be lived through, unapologetically.
It’s not ok.
But YOU will be ok,
Discovering new flickers of enduring light,
Day by day.
Living with a long-term condition can wear you down, especially the pressure you put on yourself to be ok with everything life is throwing at you, to handle it with grace, and be that beacon of positivity which others seem to find so comforting. But it’s more than ok to crumble, it’s just part of being human.
Take a deep breath.
Don’t let comparison make you shrink,
The boxes you are yet to tick,
Have no bearing on who you are within,
Nor on the value of the life you lead;
Or the future you are yet to see.
So, hold courage in your heart,
A soft, simmering knowledge,
That everything you are, the collection of moments which brought you here,
Are more than enough.
You are enough, exactly as you are.
Your milestones may look different,
But they are no less worthy of your pride.
There’s no timeline for life, or hierarchy of moments. So whatever you life looks like, know it’s enough.
Things That Make The World Go Round
Here’s to chasing sunsets, belly laughs, and late-night chats,
Equal parts chaos and peace,
Finding pockets of stillness amongst the hubbub,
And the kind of hope and love that lasts.
I don’t count in years or days, or else the gap, between reality and the one which was never mine to hold, seems to swallow me. Moments mean more.
Flickers of Light
Sometimes, a spark of light is all it takes,
To find the magic amongst the mundane.
Battered and bruised you may be,
Losing hold of the hope that sets you free;
It doesn’t change reality,
But that one ray of golden,
Or fleeting flicker of a smile,
Might just be the fuel you need,
To lay down the worries of the moment,
Even just for a second,
And know that, wherever you are, whatever it is,
The magic and the mundane,
Peace, joy, sorrow, and pain,
Can coexist, harmoniously.
Animals & Nature
It’s a Mare Thing
There’s something about a mare,
With sass and sense in equal measure.
Strong willed and defiant,
Or fearlessly loyal, depending on which side of her heart you’re sitting.
A mare bases her decision to trust, not on the kindness she’s shown,
But on the connection between your souls.
You can’t force it, but once she gives up her heart,
You’ll be hers until the end of time.
To all the mares who have ever graced my life. Thank you for the lessons (even the painful ones), the laughter, and the never-ending love.