Sometimes, words pop into my head and stick around long enough to be written down… I’m far from a poet, and sharing these feels a bit like baring a part of my soul, but maybe, one might find you when you need it, or bring you a much-needed smile; I hope so, anyway.
Life WITH LIMITS
Oh little sparrow,
Do you dream of other skies?
The sight of swallows leaving,
Sparking a desire to take flight.
Moulting trees and bitter evenings,
Reminders of when nests were more than prisons;
And as each Spring returns your sisters,
Tell me, is the yearning for their freedoms,
Ever diminished in its might?
Yes, said the sparrow,
His gaze wistfully following the breeze,
Sometimes the weight of the life not lived is suffocating,
There’s no way out but to grieve.
But the more I rest in the present,
Observing what’s around and within,
I begin to believe,
There’s a lot of life to be lived, among these well-known trees.
This is a story of finding peace and letting go of comparison. The first part was written at a time when all I craved was to be outside, participating in the world I could only see through a window. The second was written once those emotions were a little less raw and painful, once perspective had had a chance to work its magic. I am both those voices; they come and go and always will.
What is Courage?
Courage is not the absence of fear,
Courage is feeling, acknowledging and accepting the fear, and then deciding you’re going to try anyway.
Courage is admitting, even if only to yourself, that the fear exists,
It’s analysing that fear, allowing yourself to fully feel and experience it, in order to find out where it stems from.
Courage is admitting you cannot ignore it, you can’t hide it away in a dusty box in the attic,
It’s accepting that fear as a part of you, right now, whilst believing it won’t always be.
Courage is seeing the fear as helping you, as feeding the fire inside of you, and knowing you can work alongside it.
Courage is taking everything moment by moment, having enough trust in yourself to do what’s right for you.
Courage is saying, “I have fear, but fear doesn’t have me”.
We think of courage as the catalyst for achieving the impossible, but courage is in the act of carrying out the everyday things which are molehills for some but mountains for others. Courage can be shown in simply continuing to breathe, and can never exist without fear.
We tell ourselves it’s ok,
To live on trial each day,
Facing a jury for each moment,
Hoping it was something worth it.
We tell ourselves it’s alright,
To accept there is no fight.
Not a winner, nor a loser,
Just a body, which bends and yields and bruises.
But it shouldn’t be this way.
And it’s ok for the smile drain away,
For the weight of the day to leave you breathless,
And to just allow each moment, each emotion,
To be lived through, unapologetically.
It’s not ok.
But YOU will be ok,
Discovering new flickers of enduring light,
Day by day.
Living with a long-term condition can wear you down, especially the pressure you put on yourself to be ok with everything life is throwing at you, to handle it with grace, and be that beacon of positivity which others seem to find so comforting. But it’s more than ok to crumble, it’s just part of being human.
Animals & Nature
It’s a Mare Thing
There’s something about a mare,
With sass and sense in equal measure.
Strong willed and defiant,
Or fearlessly loyal, depending on which side of her heart you’re sitting.
A mare bases her decision to trust, not on the kindness she’s shown,
But on the connection between your souls.
You can’t force it, but once she gives up her heart,
You’ll be hers until the end of time.
To all the mares who have ever graced my life. Thank you for the lessons (even the painful ones), the laughter, and the never-ending love.